June 29

Kitchen therapy:

chopping and stirring, tasting;

sustaining, grounding.

~ Twilla

June 28

chasing fireflies
dusk falls with childrens' laughter
snapshot of heaven

~ Maria

June 26

We remember you.

Vibrant blooms surround, give hope.

We still sing your songs.

~ Twilla

June 25

40 bare candles:
Another June 24 
cracks under our feet.

~ Bethany

June 24

Today candle burns

Paper cranes hovering near.

We love you Heidi!

~ Jan

June 22 (2012)

Reflecting on June 22, 2012:

Clasping your hand, I

kissed your brow, called you precious,

released you to Love.

~ Twilla

The final good-bye

"This day should not have happened"*

She mouthed, "I love you."

~ Maria

(* When I visited Heidi in the fall of 2011, days after her diagnosis, we shared a wonderful day, but Heidi pointed out that, "this day should not have happened." This was an acknowledgement of how our life trajectories had changed dramatically once her diagnosis had become part of our reality.)

June 21 (2012)

I wrote this haiku in 2012 as a remembrance of the Preacher Mamas being called in to carry Heidi downstairs in the last days of her life -- an event that happened two years ago today.

We gently turned her
Encircled her in a quilt
Raised her, carried her.

~ Maria

Update: And Twilla submitted a remembrance of her own from June 21, 2012:

First day of summer

dreaded news from Mitch engulfs.

Time for that good-by

~ Twilla

June 20

girls giggle and grin
cupcakes, make-up, nails, cards, fun
twelve-year sleepover

~ Maria

June 18

Remembering a friend who died unexpectedly due to a heart condition, five years ago today.

Remembering you:

a dear friend, your too-short life,

your courageous heart.

~ Twilla

June 17

Fresh garden lettuce

Soup: potato, add bacon

Yummy memories!

~ Jan

June 16

Glisten. Crisp. Slight curl
Fresh peapod in the garden
When can I eat you?

~ Maria

June 15

So it's history! The 618 S 5th Street house in Goshen now has new owners! On Thursday evening, June 12, 2014 we said good by to the house after Theo's soccer game. It was the week of Bible School and since I was helping I got to choose a baked gift. I was lucky enough to get a fantastic strawberry pie just baked with local strawberries! 

Silent empty rooms

Family circled candle light

Memories flowed from all

Remembering food

Connecting past and future

Fresh strawberry pie!

Longing in my soul

Feels real, personal, immense

Blessing space, life flows

~ Jan

June 12

Stretched to my limits as a mother of 2 and a half year old today!

Weathered a rough day.

Our fragile hearts await the

grace of tomorrow.

~ Twilla

June 11

As you might know, tonight will be the last night we sleep at 618 south 5th. As I am going through the last things in the computer cabinet I find this list forgotten in the bottom reaches, a list from Heidi when she was well, I'm sure:

SUMMER
Fort Wayne zoo
Backyard camping
Bunk bed room?
Artsy projects
Cooking together

A list that I think was for the boys, and I know was at least for the most part fulfilled.
~ Posted with permission from an e-mail from Mitch

June 10

Fabric of the soul

Spoken, unspoken is greater

Holy breath, bird song

~ Jan

June 9

Two years ago, at the end of May, I traveled out to Goshen and spent a few days with Mitch and Heidi in the immediate aftermath of her placement on hospice care.  It was a visit of both deep pain and also deep love.  In a private blog that I was keeping, I wrote the following:

       So what is the top thing to do when time is running short?  Turns out, it is to finally get the Christmas              cards out!  So we clipped, folded, packed, wrote, addressed, stamped, all the while munching on                  snackies and humming along to CDs.

       Sometimes it feels weird that we are having this much fun considering the circumstances.  Other times it          feels like the most natural thing in the world.

I thought of this memory as I reflected on Twilla's remembrance, posted yesterday.  I love the living that Heidi was having in these days... days that were extremely hard but also so intensely precious.  

I responded to this visit in a haiku, written May 21, 2012:

finality taste

evening so ordinary

but never again?

~ Maria

June 8

Early June, 2012, Heidi was able to make it to book club. We did not know this would be her last time with us. She herself actually offered to host book club the following month. That night we discussed the book, "Take this Bread" by Sara Miles. In a few subtle ways, it was apparent that Heidi's mind was no longer as sharp as it once had been, and her energy was clearly diminished. Yet she was able to flawlessly lead us in communion, her final gift to our group.

One last time, you joined

the circle which you began,

choosing one last book

Your mind faltering,

yet your heart remembered how

to break and bless bread.

~ Twilla

June 4

Boxes, more boxes

Sort, pack, toss: memory shaped stuff

5th Street house, good by

View from fainting couch

Red wagon, red banister

Porch swing, Willa's swing

Walk: school, library

Grow: tomatoes, potatoes

Play: yards near and far

Read stories in bed

Food, fun, rhubarb jam, sip tea

Births, birthdays, deaths too

~ Jan

June 3

Cool breeze on my face

exhales the sweet scent of rain

through open windows.

~ Twilla

June 2

Shovel meets dirt then splits
Flip over then break apart
Rhythym of Farmer

I pause and am still
Sweat pouring down my face
Stare at sky; heart pounds.

~ Maria

June 1

Tickets for train trip

Ride, read, talk, write: soul meets soul

Chicago - Portland

~ Jan